When your heart belongs to two cities

Friday 9 February 2018

I’ve just returned from a trip to London, where I used to live for 12 years. Before I made the decision to move back to Sweden where I’m originally from. After been living in Stockholm for soon 2 years, I’ve started to build a life there with good friends and a nice place to live. But however nice I think Stockholm is, it’s not London. And how could it be when the population in London is bigger than the whole of Sweden. 

I’m very fortunate to be able to visit London regularly. To catch up with friends, go to all my favourite restaurants and places. I even fill my suitcase with things that I miss from London, so living in Sweden doesn’t feel as hard.


One of the things I miss the most is how early spring comes. The winter in Sweden is brutal in the cold and darkness. But once summer actually comes it’s lovely. 

But wanting to be in two different cities makes it easier when I know I have many friends who are in the same situation all over the world. When you have lived in different cities or different countries. Your heart will belong to all of them and even more if you have people you love in both those places and you will forever feel torn. 

Every time I go to London I wish I was living there again. I miss so many things. Also because I lived there all my grownup life and know how everything works in comparison to Sweden. Where I feel like I don’t know anything but because I’m Swedish everyone assumes I should know. So to me, it just feels easier when I’m in London. 

It’s also different for my husband, who’s English, as everyone keeps asking how he is coping and how he finds Sweden. Where no one asks me as I’m Swedish they assume I’m happy because finally, I’m at home. Because why shouldn’t I be. 


However, I know it’s never a simple solution. Because if I moved back to London, there would be people and things I would miss about Stockholm. There is no right or wrong answer, but I think you just have to do what feels right at that moment. Then if that changes one day that is totally fine. 

But it’s the little things that make it all easier. For me is to always bring certain foods with me back home. Just so England doesn’t feel that far away and I don’t need to change all of my habits. I tend to stock up on tea and my favourite chocolates from Booja Booja. I also buy Tesco’s vegan cheese because I think it tastes better than the Swedish ones. 
It’s also important to find some peers. In London, I had my Swedish crew and now when I live in Sweden I’m building my little English crew. Where we can talk about things that no one else understands. It makes you feel a little bit less homesick or 'awaysick'. And with today’s technology, all my friends don’t feel so far away and it’s easy to catch up with them. 

Have you got your heart in different places? What helps you when you miss something? 


  1. Is love the phrase "awaysick" that you've used here... I know exactly how you feel from the time I left Paris. I grew into being an adult in that city, and have such a fondness for it. It feels like home every time I visit.

    I hope you get back to enjoying life in Stockholm, and know that the pain will heal but you'll always love London!

    Besma | Curiously Conscious

    1. Yes I can definitely feel awaysick sometimes. I spent 12 years in London so it’s all of my grown life. Paris is an amazing city and must have been amazing to live there. I think we can count ourselves lucky to feel at home in more than one city.

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